Here is the conclusion of the article I started in the last post. (I promise…my next post will be 500 words or less…no I mean it). For more context, you may want to read Part One below.
Need/Want
This is a big one. We have made these terms virtually synonymous. Thanks to our greed and the advertiser’s penchant for understanding that greed, we often have a difficult time re-asserting the difference. The lines are so blurred we feel that most of our wants are essential for life. How can we live without this thing or the other? How can we hold our heads up without this label or the other? If we aren’t careful, we become driven by our wants without fully considering our deepest needs.
You will become as small as you controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration. – James Allen
The root of much joy (see the next section) comes in needing what we want and wanting what we need.
Happiness/Joy
In a nutshell, happiness is the feeling you get after a good meal (unless you overindulged!); joy is the contentment you receive after having lived the moment well. Too often, we seek happiness and the effects of its immediate gratification. I’m not “whupping” happiness. There is nothing wrong with the right kinds of pleasure and fun…not at all. But to seek happiness over joy is to feed a growing beast with an insatiable appetite. Something new and exciting is always trumped by something newer and even more exciting. Just ask any smart phone owner!
Joy, on the other hand, is indelible; once it has marked its place on your soul it is there forever. Knowing the pleasure of God; fulfilling the need of a loved one; serving the greater good…all of these things may well be marked by initial happiness. They are sustained, however, with the joy of living well and truly. This joy, unlike happiness, isn’t consumed with the last piece of cake, or diminished by the first scratch on new car, it endures.
My Christian worldview is satisfied by a quote from John MacArthur:
For most people happiness is possible but it’s also fickle, shallow, and fleeting. As the word itself implies, happiness is associated with happenings, happenstance, luck, and fortune. If circumstances are favorable, you’re happy. If not, you’re unhappy.
Christian joy, however, is directly related to God and is the firm confidence that all is well, regardless of your circumstances.
In Philippians 3:1 Paul says, “Rejoice in the Lord” (emphasis added). The Lord is both the source and object of Christian joy. Knowing Him brings joy that transcends temporal circumstances. Obeying Him brings peace and assurance. -John MacArthur
Winning/Gaining
Let’s face it, most of our daily pursuits are tinged with the thrill of tallying wins and losses. I got the closest parking space. I got the promotion. I have the remote control–These are wins. She got the recognition for work we did together. I lost the spelling bee. I couldn’t finish today’s Sudoku (without cheating, any way)–These are losses. Somehow, along the way, we have supplanted the idea of personal and corporate gain with gamesmanship and winning at virtually any cost.
Our inner voice has tricked us into paying more attention to what we may win rather than what we may gain. We can come to believe that the spoils of winning are equivalent to the benefits of healthy gain. Health is the dividing concept in reclaiming these terms. Winning may or may not be healthy…I am certainly not above a cutthroat game of Monopoly (Yep, I own Boardwalk WITH a hotel!) or Basketball (My bad. Let me help you up!). Yet, incessantly vying to win, as a goal unto itself, is an open door to selfishness. Gain, on the other hand, is to “improve; make progress; advance” (Dictionary.com). At the risk of straining at a gnat, my point is to draw a distinction between terms separated by their altruism and health-outlook.
Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing! -Vince Lombardi
It’s difficult and probably foolish to quibble with perhaps the most famous football coach of all time; but, that’s what I do! Seriously. We all understand Coach Lombardi’s famous quote. In a sporting contest you judge by winners and losers. Absolutely. I get it. If, however, you adopt this as a leadership principle, you are likely to end up in some hot water. Winning is rarely the most important issue. Health is almost always the right choice…even if you lose a hand or two.
Here is the wrap up to another lengthy post (thanks for sticking with me!): Saving the word for the word’s sake is immaterial. Dealing with pure semantics or splitting linguistic hairs is equally fruitless. The issue is the preservation of the precious meanings of our intentions AND our ability to communicate them precisely. We owe it to those whom we lead to plainly convey, in what we say or write, our sense of truth, clear directives, and definitive feedback . Our words are the weak vessels tasked with carrying our most precious thoughts. Failure to reclaim and bolster those good, strong words will, to some degree, diminish our ability to lead others to higher, healthier places.
Don’t use words too big for the subject. Don’t say infinitely when you mean very; otherwise you’ll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite. -C.S. Lewis
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